am i allowed to feel down and out when everyone around me is so happy and everyone has someone...i don't mean like a friend, because i have those, but i mean they have *someone*. and i feel like they always flaunt it, my mom would *always* be one the phone with her bf...but now that they're broken up...i'm really sad for her. and a friend just got back together with his gf (wtf? i don't understand because you were bad mouthing her and saying every woman was a bitch, and now you're back together!? it doesn't make sense to me) and my brother and meghan (who's really awesome and i like her) and now the other two are all lovey lovey. is it wrong that i don't want to be around that? that i don't always want to hear that? because it always makes me sad because i have my friends but that's it

and no i don't want some older guy to come around and ask me out, i'm sick of that. i want to decide, and i don't want to date people i've considered as friends for years...it's really strange and awkward for me. i'll decide when i want to date a guy...and when i find that guy, but i'm starting to regret things, because if i would have moved away, i could have had that...

so yes, i'm happy for you all, but stop being that way around me...it doesn't make me any happier...and no i'm not trying to hurt your feelings or make you angry or stop being friends with you...but

yeah...i don't know...i'm part of the singles club and i'll probably be that way for a while unless i get out

and no...don't give me that philosophical *bullshit* because i've heard enough







i just needed to say that because you've been wondering why